The Blind Side shows no Class Divide

There’s a bit the ever quotable Bill Hicks did on Basic Instinct which revolved around him basically using his initial instinct and saying what a pile of crap it is, (in no uncertain terms), as people shouldn’t get wrapped up in the petty details such as the apparent misogyny thus missing the simplistic inherent shitness of the film. The reason I’m saying this is, you’ve guessed it, that this is also the case with ‘The Blind Side’. Your prize is a hand-gun because, like the sassy female lead, it should be your right to own one, (unless your black or poor that is). See, there I go getting involved in the politics when in actual fact it’s nothing more than a standard piece of TV movie fare. But alas it’s my job to review it for better or for worse, (it’s worse, definitely worse I can assure you).

I wanted to play with the hoop...

We begin with Michael Oher, (Quinton Aaron), who, coming from a poor upbringing is made homeless. It is then up to Leigh Anne Tuohy, (Sandra Bullock), who takes it upon herself to adopt the black teenager into her white upper rich suburban lifestyle as her family takes him under their wing. With their help he is then coached to greatness as he finds his place upon none other than the NFL draft. Did I mention it’s also a true story?

Herein lies part of the problem for me as, like the bible, once a story of, (in my best Morgan Freeman voice), ‘great inspiration and hope’ is known to be true then it becomes sacred and nothing shall touch it. But I’m sorry, this film annoyed me and that’s not to say what the real Leigh Anne Tuohy did wasn’t a great thing. She’s probably a really nice person but that doesn’t stop this film from being a clichéd stream of drivel. There’s a scene in the Todd Solondz film ‘Storytelling’ which tells how once the story is placed upon the page then it has become bastardized whether you like it or not. This is advice I will take on board when reviewing the forthcoming ‘Mr. Nice’ biopic despite a lot of the wonderful stuff Howard’s done, (he’s made it easier for a lot of us).

Protect me OK? These horny teenagers are giving me the look!

Sandra Bullock did act well here but why does she insist on squandering her talents on such insipid fare? What I personally found odious about this film, (and I’m sure I’m not alone on this), was the attitude towards guns in that while it’s okay for N.R.A. members to have them it’s not okay for the poor to have them. She retorts to one criminal in the ghetto to stay out of her side of town. That’s pretty easy due to the fact that her side of town has a visible fucking police presence. It was points like this that made me feel I was watching a film with an agenda hidden under its glossy exterior. I’m not sure why it got all the Oscar attention it did, (well, I’m guessing there was some political motivations but I can’t really speculate).

I’ll finish by providing an outdated viral, (like this review for which I apologise), and I’m sure your all well aware of it but I feel offers a perfect summary to this otherwise tawdry piece of ‘inspirational’ cinema (also, sorry for stepping on your turf Dan).